An Awkward World
by Monster 17
Summary: The World as we know it has some strange people in it. Lets make some new friends.A shared fic between Monster 17 & The Notorious Mr. Pineapple.R&R please and no flames DISCLAIMER: We don't own .Hack so leave us alone.


'Ahh! Why won't it just die??' Screamed Penelo.

My group is currently running away from what seems like an invincible monster.

_I'm so going to kill Kouhitsu when we get back to town. That jackass said this place gives a lot of EXP. My ass the only thing here is a boss that won't leave us alone!_

The exit of the dungeon was just up ahead not even 10 yards away. I began to sprint only a few feet from the gate and heard a blood curdling scream, it was Penelo, she had been caught. Her body was torn in two with the animated blood oozing out of her severed limbs.

Hmm Penelo, she is at least 5' 5", a little bit shorter then me, very thin but she could pack a punch, seeing as she is a Tribal Grappler. She wears a revealing attire trying to charm male characters…it doesn't work obviously. Ever since I started playing she has been after me and has yet to leave me alone even though I'm rude to her.

'Hurry,' I yelled at our harvest cleric, Lemonade, 'Revive her!'

'I'm so very sorry Ichi-Kun but its to late for her, we must leave before the same fate falls upon us.' He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the dungeon.

'Don't worry Ichi-Kun, I'm sure she'll login soon.' He was still holding my hand. I tired to pull away but he had an iron grip on it. We then went back to town and I logged out to get away from Lemonade and his obsession with my character.

Now some of you might be wondering, 'Why would I have someone like Lemonade in my party?' Well one day I was at the Item Shop, and I didn't notice dropping some GP. Lemonade brought back to me, a few moments later, and then forced me his member address, and hasn't stopped sending me e-mails since. Yeah its an awkward friendship, but hey, it keeps things interesting.

Lemonade is a strange one. He has platinum blonde hair that covers the majority of his face. The part that is visible shows a line for an eye and a crooked smile that tells you from the start that he has the worst intentions. He has a lean figure and a funky hat on top of his head that matches his attire. He had clothes that resembled the attire of a female Harvest Cleric, but luckily, a little longer.

I went to my mail box, and noticed 20 new messages 19 from, you guessed it Lemonade! And 1 from Penelo. I ignored Lemonades, and went to Penelo's e-mail, which was an example of what female mood swings can cause.

(Angry Letter)

Ichigo! You MOTHERFUCKER!!! Both you and your _lemy-kun _took off I had to defend myself against that DAMN mutated duck monster thing! FUCK YOU PUSSYS took off running with your tails between your legs. You guys didn't even try to revive me! I thought we had something special… sob

(Reply)

I actually hate….uhh, that doesn't matter right now, you couldn't protect yourself, shouldn't depend on me and that homo-phobi-sexual of a friend of yours, REMEMBER that he was your friend before mine!!!

O NOOO!!! PMSing is bad!!!

I then went threw all of Lemonade's e-mails. I felt like gagging after reading like four of them. They were mostly about today's 'adventure' with me, and the others were awkwardly describing my body…and what he wanted to do with it.

(Letter 1)

OH Ichi-Kun! Today was wonderful. It was like heaven when that blubbering bimbo was hacked into pieces OHH! And the feeling of your soft , smooth hands just made me tingle inside. Oh the way the wind played with your luscious black spiked hair with its lime green tips. Your beautiful face glowed under the graphically created moon. Today was oh so much fun we must do it again tomorrow!

Love always,

Lemonade xoxo 3

The others… went downhill, even farther, from here. This made me want to grab my scythe and remove his brain so he would stop thinking about my well endowed body.

(Reply)

I thought she was your friend? Did anyone tell you your kind of creepy? D

I didn't even think about replying about the other sorts of comments he left about me in the e-mails, I just know it would fuel his drive for me.

After deleting all of Lemonades e-mails, I spotted a new one from Kouhitsu.

(Letter)

LMFAO!!! I just got a message from Penelo, she is fuming. I mean damn she was hella going off on you guys. Then she went on about how I'm an 'inconsiderate friend' who might as well of killed her myself. Talk about PMS…Well yeah sorry about that did you get the EXP?? LOL. Ichigo we have known each other forever and well you should have expected it was coming. It always does. )

(Reply)

Karma is a Bitch Kouhitsu, remember that… X

Damn what a day, time for bed I have work in a couple of hours. Online games, and real life don't mix that well. Especially when you have an actual life, with actual friends that AREN'T like Lemonade, and Penelo, What kind of names are those anyway? Fuck…need sleep…or maybe a Red Line in the morning, either works.


End file.
